Timmy's, Costa, or Starbucks?
by FarRarAway
Summary: Ever wonder which coffeehouse chain is the best? Well, so do Canada, England, and Fem!America! Featuring my OC United Arab Emirates.


**Welcome! If you love coffee, you're not in the right place. These guys will mostly just bash each other. I mean no disrespect if you like either one of these coffeehouse/cafe things. And if you are, that's cool too. I'm a little disgruntled at the ending, myself, to be honest.**

**I wanted to thank my reviewers from my previous story briefly. So, you have a free pass to ignore the rest of this Author's note and read on!**

**GriffinMan: You've got a cool name. Demand and ye shall receive! I hope you read this. It was originally supposed to be written with cannon characters. I changed it just for you!**

**The GalacticJester BubbleWitch: My mom loved the first bubble witch game that came out. Thanks for the review, it certainly made up for the lack of pie.**

* * *

"Hey, Mattie! How's it going?" Canada, or Matthew Williams, was as usual, early to the world meeting. He looked up and realized that, judging by how his twin sister's face was in incredibly close proximity to his own, America was too. He jumped back, startled.

"America. What are you doing?" Canada asked, referring to the blond and how she was currently eyeing his coffee cup very closely. She didn't answer as she suddenly, and very rudely, ripped the cup out of his hand. She sniffed the contents and contemplated its scent for a minute, nose crinkled in concentration. Finally satisfied that the cup did in fact hold coffee, she took a sip.

And... promptly spit it out.

"Uck!" Thankfully she spit it out in the direction away from Canada.

"America! What the bloody hell was that!?" The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland's cry was almost shrill in disbelief.

"That's awful! What is that, Mattie?" America tried her best to ignore the personification that also represented England as he stormed into the room.

Canada just sighed as America thrust the cup back at him, "It's coffee, America. From Tim Horton's." He answered quietly. America just gave a sour expression and reached behind her to grab her own coffee cup off the table. She took a gulp and savored the taste for a moment.

"Really America. Did I teach you nothing?" Said nation turned her head to face the irate Briton and let out a long, exaggerated sigh. Which was more of her just pushing air out of her mouth loudly and in a manner that she hoped was patronizing.

"Of course ya did, Artie! I just _choose_ to forget when it suits me. Like now." She grinned brightly and turned her attention back to Canada. "Tim Horton's, huh? I didn't know Canada had their own version of Starbucks."

Canada shook his head, "Timmy's isn't a copy of Starbucks. It is its own thing. Besides it's more similar to Dunkin' Donuts, anyway."

"America, you can't just choose to use manners when it suits you. Even if some one's coffee is awful." England muttered, exasperated.

Both North American twins froze, "What do you know about coffee?" They asked in complete unison. America's voice standing out a bit more than her brother's, whose demeanor was naturally much more quiet and demure.

"I thought you only drank tea." America was dumbfounded.

America held back a snicker as England's gargantuan eyebrows furrowed. "Why, because I'm English?"

"Naturally." Canada murmured.

He scoffed. "What rubbish. I don't drink tea _all _the time. And even if I did that doesn't mean I can't enjoy a nice cup of coffee every now and then."

"But, dude, where do you get your coffee from? Is Starbucks even in the UK?" America was still having a hard time comprehending.

"Yes, it is. You would do well to keep yourself informed, America. Not that you care. Anyway, Costa was founded in London. That's where I get most of my coffee."

"Whoa. I had no idea. I bet it's awful, though."

"What!? You've never tried it! You can't possibly make a decision without any experie-"

America held up her hand, "Iggy, you know tea. _I_ know coffee. Plus, Starbucks' logo is a mermaid. Therefore, the heroine wins!"

England sputtered indignantly and Canada raised an eyebrow, "What does the mermaid have to do with anything? Tim Horton's was founded and named after a hockey player. What difference does it make?"

"Mermaids are the bomb, duh!"

"Says you, you bloody yank! I'll have you know Costa happens to be the second largest coffeehouse in the world!" England glared.

America laughed boisterously, "Yup! And you know what the biggest coffeehouse is? Starbucks! Costa is second rate." England's face flamed bright red with rage.

"You can't judge coffee based on the size of the company. Timmy's quality is just as good as Starbucks _and_ Costa." Canada interjected.

England stood a bit straighter as an idea struck him, "I know how to settle this. Emirates!" The Briton called.

Moments later a teenaged boy with an air of aristocracy sauntered into the room. He wore white from head to toe, save the black agal atop his head, in a kandura and ghutra. His skin was slightly tanned and his hair almost black. The beginnings of a nice beard filling out on his chiseled, square jaw. His eyes were probably the most interesting thing about him, even with his traditional clothing. They were black with flecks of gold.

"No way! I love this guy!" America squealed as he entered. She bounded over to him, briefly touching her nose to his and then wrapping her arm around his shoulders. The personification of the United Arab Emirates didn't seem to mind.

"What is it, England?" He asked, with probably a little more ice than he intended.

"Oh come on. You can't seriously still be upset, can you?" England asked, chuckling a little nervously.

"I can, in fact. You enslaved my people."

England almost choked at the nation's blunt answer. "Yes, well, we need your help with something."

"In other words, we need you to referee our squabble." Canada said.

"These dorks," America said gesturing to England and Canada's general direction, "think that Tim Horton's and Costa measure up to the ever amazing Starbucks. Which they don't. We need you to tell us which of the three is better. Since you have all three chains where you live."

"You want me to choose between Timmy's, Costa, and Starbucks?"

The three nations nodded.

Emirates winced. "Well, I do enjoy the occasional pack of tim bits." Canada beamed. "And Starbucks has a cool logo." America put her fists on her hips in a classic hero pose. "But, the bulk of the coffee I drink comes from Costa." England, who was previously sulking, visibly brightened as the other two deflated.

He opened his mouth to comment on his victory but, was promptly cut off by the teen, "I still don't like you." England quickly returned to his usual state of perpetual grumpiness.

"But, Khaled! I thought we were buddies. You even pegged your dirham to my dollar!" America pouted.

Khaled just patted her shoulder sympathetically and said nothing.

After that, the other nations finally started filing in. With enough people to fill the room, Canada disappeared and the meeting began.

* * *

**There ya have it! I personally love Starbucks. But, I'm American so... that was bound to happen. I see way more Emiratis at Costa, hence the decision at the end. Starbucks is usually filled with expats. Oh! I hope you enjoyed my OC of the UAE. I'm aware Himaruya has a idea and I respectfully disagree. I live here.** **He imagines him as an old guy that likes the sun. But, the country is literally 40 years old. Emiratis might as well be nocturnal. Their day starts way later. Nobody goes out during the day. It's hot! If you're wondering why he doesn't like England, that's a good question. I'll probably give Khaled Al Menhali a proper introduction oneshot in the future that will give an insight into why he did or didn't do certain things in this story.**

**Reviews are just as wonderful as you are. So you may as well share.**

**-FRA**


End file.
